Ready Yourselves for Unspeakable Luxury!

Loyal subjects…

We have created this “Imperial Web Log” for one reason, and one reason alone: To spread The Divine Message to all the (English speaking) peoples of the world!

You shall not find “Chocolate-Flavored” Candy on this Royal Blog, nor shall you find “Cocoa-Inspired Funny-Powders” or “Carob-Themed Delights” (Arrgh! Don’t even get me started on the Earl of Carob, that would-be usurper!).

Nay, my children. You will find here only True Chocolate of the Finest Indulgence! For those keeping score, that’s Indulgence Level 7 or higher on the Stewart-Garten scale.

Now go forth, my children! Go and spread word of this great and wonderful news! Fly to all corners of the realm…tell the young children, the loving mothers, the proud fathers, the elderly and the infirm, the migrant workers who toil daily in the subterranean sugar mines, the bakers, the twizzlers, the Swedish Fish-ermen, …tell them all that they may now bask freely in the healing brown light of The One True Chocolate!

Prepare yourselves for Unspeakable Luxury…

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Hear ye! The Imperial Herald Speaks!

Mortals! Attend my words, for you are now in the presence of The Divine!

By Royal Decree, His Imperial Highness Ovaltine IV, Sovereign Emperor of All Chocolate, and Holy Defender of the Dessert Realms, has in his infinite magnanimity granted you, the humble citizens of the internet, by way of this blog, direct audience with The Imperial Personage Himself!

O, glad tidings! O, joyous day!

You have no doubt dropped to your knees in gratitude upon reading this glorious news, your low-born heads bowed in fervent prayer for His Majesty’s continued grace and vitality! His Highness has deemed this response worthy, and has thrice blessed you with his Holy Sceptre of Living Chocolate!

Rise, now, loyal subjects…

Rise, and bask in His Majesty’s brown radiance!

Let the blogging commence!