The Enrobening

“So, what does an Emperor wear?” you ask.

As you may already know, I, the Imperial Person, am mechanically enrobed each morning in Liquid Chocolate of the highest quality.

“What is Enrobing?” you continue…

Well, Mr-or-Mrs Asking-a-lot-of-questions, I shall endeavor to explain:

Like many of Our Realm’s myriad chocolate delights, I am placed onto a dwarven-built mechanical device known as a “conveyor belt,” which carries me at a steady speed through a “waterfall” of pure liquid chocolate, which hardens upon standing.

This outer casing gives me an armor-like protective shell, in addition to a bold, sleek look, glowing with Imperial Grandeur and 1970s realness!

Of course I may choose to enrobe myself in different styles of chocolate for various Royal Occasions—White Chocolate for a baptism or public address, Dark for matters of state, Bittersweet for funerals, and so on…*

Our royal Head and Hands, of course, are covered by protective wax-paper during the process, which is afterword given to a young peasant of the realm who is either injured, or suffering from some type of ailment.**

One can not help but be moved by the sheer delight on the faces of the impoverished children as they peel off the hardened, hollow, head-sized coating of Imperial Chocolate from the wax-paper, and greedily scarf it down (or slowly savor it, as their own individual personalities would dictate), their wounds instantly healed by ingestion of the divine shell, and their sad, trademarked illnesses abated.

And that’s enrobing!


*(sometimes I have them toss in crispy puffed-rice pieces, “jus’ cuz”!)

**(“skittles,” perhaps, or “mounds”.)


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